The Blessing of Going “Overdue”

Two weeks ago yesterday, I had the joy of giving birth to our third son! It was our third home birth and it went so well — for which I’m grateful. I was warned not to expect our third son’s birth to be like either of his brothers births. With my first two sons I woke up because my water broke in the middle of the night without any other apparent signs of labor. My first son took about nine hours after my water broke to be born and my second took about 53 minutes. I had dreamed of a water birth with both of them, but didn’t get to have that with either of them. I got out of the birth pool to get in a better position for my oldest son to be born and never made it back in, and my second son was born so quickly I didn’t make it into the pool until after he was born. So, my goal with my third son — apart from a safe, healthy delivery — was to make it into the pool and finally get to experience a water birth. I’d also like to note that my first son was born on his due date and my second was born three days after his due date.

Well, as 41 weeks came and went I was starting to think that our son would never be born. I obviously knew that wasn’t true, but that’s how I felt. I was so uncomfortable at that point and while I was extremely grateful to have carried him full term without any complications, I really wanted to meet him. I kept hoping I was in labor, but they weren’t ever real contractions. I tried so hard to cherish the extra days I had with my two older boys and kept wondering when the day would finally come. I had an appointment with my midwife on Monday, April 24th and she told me that she was pretty sure he would be born that week. She also mentioned that sometimes the mother’s emotions can play a role in her body’s ability to go into labor. My midwife knew that I was only 15 days away from the first anniversary of the loss of my dad, so she made a suggestion. She suggested getting a babysitter for our older two overnight, so that Marc and I could go on a date and just be. She said it could be helpful for me to allow myself to feel anything I needed to feel in regards to my dad and that I could use a decent night’s sleep. So, that’s what we did.

That night, my mom took our boys overnight and we went on a date. We ate dinner, went on a walk, went out for ice cream, and talked the entire time. When we got home, I did the Miles Circuit — which is a series of three movements/positions that can help get your baby into the correct position for birth — while we watched some T.V. and then went to bed. The next morning I woke up with the worst lower back pain I’d had the entire pregnancy. I still don’t know if it was back labor or just sore from the Miles Circuit — which I had found to be super uncomfortable while I was doing it. I just kept praying for peace and that if that was going to be the day, that I would know I was in labor before my water broke this time.

Around 10am, on Tuesday, I started having contractions that felt a little more real and by about 11am I could tell that they were actual contractions. I let Marc know since he was at work and then let my midwife know. My contractions weren’t super strong or super close together at that point, so I just continued on with as normal of a day as I could. I managed to get my boys down for naps and tried to stay busy by cleaning up a few things. My boys woke up from their naps and around 3:30pm or so, I had my mom take them because the contractions were definitely starting to become stronger and last longer. Marc was home by this point, but I wasn’t ready for the midwives to come and didn’t want the birth pool filled up quite yet. My contractions were intense, but they weren’t at their strongest point yet and I could still breathe/talk through them.

At about 4:45pm my water broke. While this didn’t instantly bring on the super strong contractions, I knew it was only a matter of time. I called my midwife right away to let her know and Marc started filling the birth pool. I started getting nervously excited because I knew we were so close to finally meeting our sweet boy! I still didn’t think the midwives needed to come quite yet, so I didn’t ask them to. I couldn’t wait to get into the birth pool and as soon as I could, I did. Laboring in the birth pool is my favorite! I’ve heard the birth pool referred to ask the “midwife’s epidural” because of the relief that you experience once you’re in it. The contractions continued and started to become increasingly uncomfortable and much harder to breathe through around 5:55pm. Marc had been timing my contractions and sent a screenshot of the timing to the midwives because he thought we were past the point of ready for them to be here (I’m TERRIBLE at telling them when to come and I always think I have more time left than I do).

At 6pm the midwives were on their way and I was still having consistently, strong contractions. Around 6:20pm they rapidly increased in strength with little to no break in between them. I realized that our sweet boy was about to be born and — thanks to me not listening to Marc sooner — the midwives weren’t at our house yet. Those who know the story of our second son’s birth know that Marc delivered him because the midwives weren’t at our house yet (again because I waited too long to tell them to come and he came super quickly). Back to our third son, I began to feel his head coming at about 6:23pm and started saying “no, no, no” because I once again was about to have a baby without the midwives there. Anyway, my body completely took over and did exactly what it was designed to do and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

At 6:28pm Marc handed me our sweet boy just as one of our midwives entered our room. She heard our son be born and saw Marc bring him up out of the water. I couldn’t believe that I waited too long to tell them to come once again, but Marc handles it in such a calm way that I wasn’t too concerned about it. Our sweet boy was here and I was finally able to experience a water birth. It went so well and Marc is the best at reminding me to breathe and to try to stay calm. He has informed me that he will decide when the midwives should come from now on though since I have such a hard time with that decision — which is probably for the best — even though he knows what to do when the baby comes before the midwives get there.

Our sweet boy was 8lbs 7oz and 21 inches long. He didn’t show any signs of being “overdue” which means the due date was probably off. He’s been such a sweet addition to our family and we are so blessed to have him! One of the coolest parts about him being born “overdue” was that it allowed Marc to be home on the one year anniversary of my dad passing away. We had planned for Marc to take two weeks of vacation whenever he was born and had also planned for him not to take the anniversary of my dad passing away off. Since our sweet boy came exactly two weeks before that anniversary, Marc was able to be home yesterday and that was a gift I didn’t realize I needed.

God was so good in timing our baby boy’s birth perfectly with Marc’s time off and the one year anniversary of my dad passing away. It was such a reminder of His goodness and of how He is in every detail my life. Even though it didn’t make sense to me that he was “overdue” by more than either of my other boys, God was working his birth out in His timing, not mine. God knew what we didn’t and showed us Matthew 5:4, which says, ““Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” He comforts us in ways that we don’t always realize in the moment — at least that’s been my experience. I was so focused on being physically uncomfortable, that I didn’t think about what my heart would need, but God knows my heart far better than I do and He took care of it using our sweet boy’s birth date. I don’t ever want to forget the blessing that it was to go “overdue” this time. It was definitely a blessing in disguise that I’m forever grateful for.

So, the next time things don’t seem to be going the way I think they should or not at the pace I think they should, I hope I remember this instance and hold onto the truth about God found in Isaiah 55: 8-9, which says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” God sees and knows more than I will ever come close to seeing or knowing and He has plans that are far better than mine!

Can you recall a blessing in disguise in your own life? Have you ever had things turn out differently than you planned and it ended up being for the better?

Song(s) of the Week: This week I chose “Gonna be Alright” by Ryan Ellis because I heard it for the first time the other day and really like it! Enjoy!