A Model for Community

Have you ever looked at other cultures or different parts of history and thought about how so many things can be passed down generation to generation simply by being a part of a process? How so much can be learned simply by being around someone? I feel as though there are many things that, not too long ago, were common to teach the next generation and there was such an emphasis on the necessity of strong community for survival. Without the knowledge of older generations, many communities may not have survived. I feel as though in recent years, the importance of that has started to be replaced with technology and independent learning. We seem to have begun straying away from the “old” way and creating a “new” way where the wisdom of the older generation is not nearly as sought after or treasured as it once was. This leads me to the book of Titus.

While Titus is not a long book, it is filled with wisdom. The following passage is one that I’ve appreciated for a few years and continue to read and re-read it that I might take the wisdom found in it and apply it to my life.

“Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.” Titus 2:2-8

Can you imagine what our communities — especially our communities of believers — would look like if we took this passage more seriously and applied it to our lives more often? I mean, if the older men and women were making a point to follow these and the younger men and women were taking notice and learning how to follow in their footsteps, I think our communities would look radically different than many do today. In a world that teaches that these values, morals, and characteristics are “old fashioned” and “outdated” I think that it would help with many of the problems that we see in today’s culture if we took them more seriously.

For older men to model well what it looks like to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, sound in love, and sound in steadfastness would be such a shift that I think families would look radically different, churches would look radically different, marriages would look radically different, etc. These are characteristics of a man who loves God well and as a result changes the way the he lives his life so that he may honor God in all that he does. This is a man that leaves a legacy for his family that is built on the Word of God and faith in Jesus.

For older women to model well what it looks like to to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine, to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled would be radical. This too would lead to stronger communities, stronger marriages, stronger families, stronger churches, etc. For them to come alongside the younger women and show them what it looks like to live in a way that is honoring to God in all that they do, think, say, act, would be radical. These would be women who were so dedicated to honoring God in all aspects of their lives that they wouldn’t feel the pull toward the “mommy wine” culture that often rears it’s ugly head in our society today. They would love their husbands well and show the younger women what that looks like. Friendships that didn’t revolve around slander and gossip would make them more approachable and trustworthy. These would be women that leave a legacy for their families that is built on the Word of God and faith in Jesus.

For the younger men to be self-controlled, and to show themselves in all respects to be models of good works, and in their teaching to show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned would be radical. When they conduct themselves in this way, an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about them because they wouldn’t be able to find anything evil to say. These would be young men that love God more than anything else and as a result, choose to live differently than how society tells them too. These would be young men that were ready to become husbands, fathers, leaders, etc. because they would be creating a legacy built on the Word of God and faith in Jesus.

I realize that there are in fact older men and women who do live this way and are more than willing to come alongside the younger men and women to teach them and help them. The younger men and women need to be willing to learn from them and to treasure the wisdom that they have acquired over the years. Sure, there are “new” ways to do certain things that make them more efficient or even better than before, but don’t miss out on the time spent with the older generations. You might learn something from their “old fashioned” ways and they might learn something from you. The wisdom that comes from a relationship with Jesus is not something that is “old fashioned” and it certainly can help a young person as they grow in their journey. Those pieces of wisdom that an older person can pass on to the younger generation are priceless and worth paying attention to. There is a reason that Proverbs 16:31 says, “Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.” It is worth taking the time to speak and learn from the older generation of believers that have spent years getting to know Jesus and have a solid relationship with Him.

I also realize that the fact that it says “working at home” will trip some people up, especially those women who do work outside of the home. The idea here is not that women aren’t permitted to work outside of the home, but rather that their first responsibility — as a wife and/or mother — is to be a gatekeeper of their home and carry the responsibility of the day to day care of their homes and children. Staying at home may not be an option for every woman, but that doesn’t mean that she should neglect her responsibilities as a wife and/or mother when she’s home.

I feel like I could talk about the benefits of this Titus 2 model for a lot longer, but I’ll end with this. Older men and women need to take their relationships with Jesus more seriously and they need to teach the younger generation to do the same. The younger generation needs to see the value and wisdom in the older generation and not write them off because of their age. We are called to be different than the world (John 17:16). We do live in the world, but that certainly doesn’t mean that we should conform to its ways when God has called us to be holy — set apart — as His beloved children and to spread His truth throughout the world (Mark 16:15). Our communities should look different. Our marriages should look different. Our families should look different because we — as believers — do not live for this world, we live for Jesus and His ways are far better than any ways that the world has to offer!

Song of the Week: This week I chose “No Man is an Island” by Tenth Avenue North because it’s a great reminder that we are not meant to do this life alone. Enjoy!