Asking for Help

As I was watching my two year old attempt to get his pajamas on all by himself — we have reached the stage where he wants to do everything himself — I became very aware of a few things. I was also reminded once again how God uses my children to teach me more about myself and more about Himself. I have learned so much in my few short years of motherhood and I know I will have so many more lessons as the journey continues.

First, I realized that we all have those moments where we desperately want to do something alone, but we just can’t quite yet. Just like my son want so badly to be able to put his pajamas on all by himself, there are times when I desperately want to be able to do things all by myself that I’m just not quite ready for. It doesn’t mean that he won’t ever be able to do it by himself, just not yet. The same goes for me. There are times when I want to do things all by myself and maybe I’ll be able to someday, just not yet. There are different tasks for different seasons and there are times when I need to recognize that I just can’t do certain things — yet. Motherhood has shown me that there are many things that I still need to grow into. There are things I thought I was ready to tackle all by myself, but I wasn’t. There are things that I’m working on and trying to learn how to do, but like my son with his pajamas, I still have some learning to do before I can do it all by myself.

Secondly, I realized that just like I watched him struggle with his pajamas until he decided he was ready for help, that is probably what God does when we struggle with something. He is right there ready and willing to help us, but we often resist until we realize that we need Him and ask for help. I get absolutely zero satisfaction from watching him struggle — in fact it’s hard because I know that if he would just ask for help it would go so much faster. I wonder if that’s how God feels with us sometimes. I wonder if He sees us struggling with something that He knows we need His help with, but instead of forcing us to let Him help us, He waits for us to ask. He is right there — willing and ready to help us — as soon as we come to Him and ask for it. Are there things we do that He knows would be faster if we’d just ask — I’m sure! We can be stubborn at times, just like a toddler. I could’ve put my son’s pajamas on before he came to me for help, but he would’ve made it nearly impossible because he would’ve been mad that I didn’t let him do it on his own. It also wouldn’t teach him how to do it himself or how to ask for help. If God were to “force” us to let Him help us before we’re ready for help, we’d probably resist and fight it too. It doesn’t feel nice or helpful when someone tries to do something for you that you don’t want them to. We also wouldn’t learn how to ask Him for help. Sometimes feeling the frustration of a struggle is what reminds us that we need to be dependent on God and continue to learn from Him. As much as my son wants to be independent, he still needs to be reminded that he isn’t — and so do we.

Lastly, I learned that we can still be proud of ourselves even when we need to ask for help with something. After my son came to the realization that he needed help and allowed me to help him, he proudly smiled and clapped for himself as if he had done it all himself. He then looked to me to see if I would clap too — which I did of course — and that showed me that help when we need it doesn’t lessen the accomplishment. He was still proud of himself even though he needed help. We can still be proud of ourselves even when we need help. All too often people are led to believe that needing help is a bad thing. They might feel ashamed to ask for help or think that because they needed help it somehow lessens the fact that they made it through whatever they were struggling with. I didn’t clap for my son because he did it all by himself, I clapped because I want him to learn that it’s okay to ask for help. I also want him to learn that I’m here to help and encourage him. I’m here to teach him, not to shame him. I’m here to love him, not to make him feel bad for not knowing how to put his pajamas on by himself yet. That’s how I imagine God is with us. He is here to love us, teach us, encourage us, and so much more because we are his children. He wants us to come to Him with our struggles, questions, pain, concerns, and everything else. He will laugh with us, cry with us, and work with us through our struggles and frustrations. Motherhood to me is much the same. I want my children to know that they can come to me and ask me for help without the fear of shame or ridicule. I want to establish a relationship with them when they’re young, so that as they grow they know that I’m here for them and that God is good and will always be there for them no matter what. I know there are times when I’ll fail, but He never will.

Motherhood is such a learning experience. It is filled with multiple opportunities for refinement and growth. It shows me so much about myself and gives me many opportunities to learn humility. God has used it to teach me things I didn’t know I needed to learn and to remind me of lessons I’d forgotten. I’m so grateful for it and I pray that I continue to learn through it as I continue to become the wife and mama He has created me to be.

What is something that God has used a child to teach you about Him?

Song(s) of the Week: This week I chose “Shoulders” by For King & Country because it’s such a great reminder that no matter what we find ourselves walking through or struggling with, we can always turn to God because He is the One that our help comes from. Enjoy!