On to “First Grade”

Do you remember first grade? You’re learning to read and write and maybe ride your bike without training wheels. You still don’t know a ton, but you do know more than you did in kindergarten. You’re a little more confident than when you were in kindergarten and you’re excited because you get to do more exciting things and might even begin to lose your baby teeth. I know that school isn’t everyone’s favorite, but I love learning, so I looked forward to each new school year because I knew it meant I got to learn even more. That’s how I feel about marriage as well.

Last Friday Marc and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. He took the day off of work and we spent it together. Amidst the normal daily tasks like breakfast, snacks, and nap time for boys, we were able to get away for an hour of bowling and then again for dinner that night. It was simple and so much fun. When we entered our fifth year of marriage I related it to starting kindergarten which would mean that our sixth year would be like first grade.

As our marriage enters “first grade” we have learned how to read each other a little better — although we aren’t completely fluent readers yet. Some of our “baby teeth” have become wiggly and a couple have even fallen out to make way for stronger “adult teeth.” As we’ve grown as a couple, so have our goals. Our values have become more refined as we’ve been blessed with our boys and there are things that have come up that we weren’t necessarily planning on — which is why some of those “baby teeth” had to go. God continues to teach us and grow us and we are grateful for each day we get together. There is something about building the life that you dreamed of together that is unlike anything else. I’m living out my dream of being a stay at home mom and having a garden and cooking for our family on a daily basis. This is our dream — sure we have bigger ones, but at the very core this is it. Loving God and learning how to steward the life He’s blessed us with well.

We’ve been in marriage counseling (with a phenomenal Christian counselor) for over a year — not for anything specific — just as a preventative measure to be aware of things as they come up and learn how to communicate well. It can be so easy to get caught up with the busyness of kids and life and forget to work on marriage things — counseling allows us an uninterrupted time to talk with the help of someone much further along in marriage than we are. It’s an investment into our marriage that we both chose to make and have been so blessed by it. I remember people saying things like, “just wait until year __ — that’s the hardest one” and thinking “why would we wait until it was hard? Why not learn how to communicate with each other now and develop tools that we can use during the hard times?” I’m someone who would rather do the work of preparing now as opposed to reacting then. Counseling is just one of the ways that we work on things now instead of waiting until then.

In a world that seems to constantly be working against marriage as God created it to be, we are doing our best to seek Him and His will for our marriage. We are doing our best to learn — from God, each other, and those around us — so that we can build a marriage that is strong and honoring to Him. Marriage is a gift and I’m grateful to have been blessed with it. There is so much that we’ve learned in our five years of marriage and so much more to learn with each day we’re blessed with together. We want to be good stewards of each area of our lives and our marriage is one of those areas. In Ephesians 5, Paul talks about the relationship between husbands and wives and mentions that it is a picture of Christ and the church. Marriage is designed to glorify God and be a picture of the relationship between Christ and His church.

Marriage in this broken world will never be perfect. There will always be struggles and it will always take intentional, conscious effort to build a strong, God honoring marriage. Marc and I must choose each day whom we will serve — with our lives and with our marriage. Each of you must choose each day whom you will serve. No matter where we find ourselves in this life, we always have a choice in whether we will serve God or someone/something else. Following God and bringing glory to His Name is a daily decision — sometimes minute by minute or breath by breath. We all, whether married or not, have the choice to serve Him with our lives — may we be people who choose Him every minute of every day until the last breath leaves our bodies.

So, here’s to year six for Marc and I and all the lessons to be learned as we continue on our journey together. We know enough to treat each day as a gift and to live our lives with the knowledge that each breath we breathe is truly a miracle. As we continue to learn more about God and each other, I pray that we would grow in wisdom and continue to build a life that is honoring to Him. Here’s to “first grade” and all that it has in store for us — for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance. Marriage isn’t easy — most things worth it in life aren’t easy — but it is worth it to me.

Song(s) of the Week: This week I chose “Back to Life” by Zahriya Zachary simply because I like it. Enjoy!