Failing Forward

Something that I’ve learned about myself recently, is that it’s much easier for me to encourage others than it is to encourage myself. Anyone else like that? When it comes to others, I am able to see their potential and speak words of truth into their lives, but when it’s my own life I tend to over analyze the situation and discourage myself. This is something that I’m trying to work on because it really bothers me. Why do I believe that other people have what it takes to be themselves, but not me? When I think about the goals and dreams that I have, I tend to talk myself out of them or fail to put in the necessary work required to make them a reality. If I come up with an idea that I think is good, I almost immediately talk myself out of it because “what if” someone else tells me that it’s not that good of an idea. I’m always gathering information — especially about things that I’m passionate about, but I find that I don’t always share the information because I’m afraid of what others might have to say about it. I think what it really comes down to is that I’m afraid of failing.

This fear of failure is probably rooted in something from when I was a child, but I couldn’t tell you a specific incident even if you asked. Failing is hard. It has always been hard for me because I like to get things right the first time. I don’t like to make mistakes and I prefer to learn a lesson the first time, so that I don’t have to keep being taught it repeatedly. Obviously, I know that I make mistakes and that I have — and will continue to — fail at things, but my view of failure needs to be adjusted. I heard someone say that when you fail, make sure that you’re always failing forward. The idea behind this concept is that you always use your failures as an opportunity to grow instead of beating yourself up about it and quitting altogether. I’m working on this because I don’t like to quit, but I’m not always opposed to giving up before I even try something. If I don’t believe something will ever work, my default is to not even try. I’m so glad that God isn’t like that.

Even though He knew that we would sin, He still chose to create us. He didn’t scrap the whole idea of humanity because He knew we weren’t going to be obedient. He even knew that He would have to redeem us and He still went ahead with it. He saw the end from the beginning and still chose to say, “Let there be light,” because we were worth it (Gen. 1:3). He still chose to create us and let us fail over and over without ever failing at anything Himself. He takes all of our mistakes and failures and creates beauty where we can’t see any because He’s good and He’s God. So, why don’t I believe that He can and will do that for all of my “little” mistakes and failures? If He can handle and forgive all of my sin, why am I afraid to try new things that don’t even have any sort of consequence other than my pride being hurt? I think the answer can be found in that question — it’s pride.

Sometimes my pride gets in my own way and hinders my opportunity to grow — which isn’t beneficial to me or the people around me. Proverbs has a few verses on pride, but the one that always comes to mind first is Proverbs 16:18 which says, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” Being too proud to fail often leads to failure anyway — which means that being too proud to fail is foolish. Viewing failure as an opportunity to grow allows failure to become a friend instead of a foe. It allows space for evaluation, growth, and improvement. There is nothing wrong with failing, but we miss out on an opportunity to grow when we view failure as an unacceptable option.

I have no statistic to back this up; however, I’m fairly confident that every invention throughout history went through multiple failed attempts before ever reaching true success. The reason those inventors were successful was because they learned from their failures instead of allowing themselves to become so defeated that they didn’t continue to try. People who are successful, have failures. People who are unsuccessful, have failures. The difference between those who succeed and those who don’t is that the people who learn from their failures and adjust accordingly are the ones that become successful. The ones who learn how to fail forward are the ones that continue to take risks and don’t allow the fear of failing stop them from ever becoming successful at something.

So, what does pride have to do with encouragement? Well, I think that pride can get in the way of most things if we leave it unchecked. I have no idea how many things my fear of failure (pride) has gotten in the way of and I never will, but I hope that I learn to stop letting it get in the way so much moving forward. It takes courage to be willing to fail at anything — especially when it’s something other people can see — so I hope that I learn to exercise my courage “muscle” in small things in preparation for whenever it’s needed for something bigger. Encouraging others is easy — encouraging myself requires much more conscious effort on my part. God has created me for His purposes and I don’t want to be so prideful that I miss out on the opportunity to become the woman He’s created me to be.

Do you find it easier to encourage others or yourself? If you think it’s harder to encourage yourself, why do you think that is?

Song(s) of the Week: This week I chose “Kind” by Cory Asbury because I think it’s a good reminder. Enjoy!