Teaching Them Young

At what age do you start teaching your children how to treat others? Pretty early in my experience. We teach them to share — or at least we try to — within the first couple years of their lives. We begin teaching them how to be kind to others, how to use manners, and so on very early on. Why? It’s important to start early so that they can continue to develop those skills as they grow. As parents, we model for our children how to treat each other and they pick up on so much!

The other night Marc took our two older boys with him to run an errand and when they came home, our oldest proudly presented me with a new plant. He was sporting a big smile and was so excited to give it to me. I was instantly aware of something so important in that moment — Marc was teaching our son how to treat me, which, in turn is teaching him how to treat others. I was in the middle of giving our youngest a bath when he brought it to me, so I responded with a lot of excitement and then asked him to put it on the counter for me. Marc later told me that when they were at the store, he told the boys that they were going to go get a plant for me and then he picked the type of plant out, but allowed our oldest to pick which plant they bought. Our middle son seemed completely oblivious to the whole thing, but our 2 (almost 3) year old understood and was so proud. The next day he saw the plant and reminded me that he got it for me with a big smile on his face.

So, why am I telling you about this? I’m telling it to you to remind you, that you have a huge impact on how your children treat others. When Marc took the time to include our oldest in picking out a plant for me, he allowed our son to learn about bringing flowers/plants to his mama like a gentleman. He used a real life experience to demonstrate love and care toward me. Marc knows how much I like to get flowers from him, but also knows that’s his job to teach our boys how to treat ladies — starting with their mama.

Parents have such important jobs — raising up children to become adults. What we teach or don’t teach will impact our children in one way or another. What we demonstrate for them and how we choose to live our lives and treat others will be seen by them. I’ve heard people talk about things that are “caught” rather than “taught” and how we treat others is one of those things that they’re more likely to “catch.” We, as parents, have been given the opportunity to teach and shape how our children see the world and the people in it. What they see and hear us doing, they will begin to mimic. They will mimic our behavior and words — whether they’re good or bad. Unfortunately, it seems to be that the bad is easier for children to remember to mimic than the good, so that means we have to be diligent and look for opportunities to demonstrate the good.

As a wife and mama, it is my job to show my children that I love their daddy. It is my job to show them how to respect him and others. It is my job to show them what a Jesus loving wife looks like — and even though that’s not something they’re even aware of yet, it’s important for me to be consistent in modelling it now, so that it’s what they grow up seeing. It is my job to be obedient to God and teach them about Him and how He says to treat others. I am who my children see more than any other human on the planet. I stay home with them, so we’ve been together every single day since they were conceived for the majority of each day. If I don’t teach them how to treat others well, they will by default treat them poorly — it’s human nature to be selfish. I need to teach them to be kind to each other like Ephesians 4:32 teaches us to be. I need to demonstrate what it looks like to live and act in a way that is honoring to God. I need to be diligent to look for opportunities to teach them like Marc did with the plant. Marc and I, as their parents, need to show them how to treat others by the we treat each other. Our children have a front row seat to the relationship we have with each other and the way we treat others — we need to make sure that what we’re showing them is honoring to God, which makes it honoring to each other. We need to teach them while they’re young and as they get older.

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs are not promises, so this isn’t a guarantee from God or anything like that, but it is a general piece of wisdom that it worth paying attention to. I’ve so often heard this verse talked about in relation to teaching our children the Word of God — which I don’t disagree with; however, I wonder if the training here is not just verbal, but also what we model for them. If we teach our children the truths of Scripture and live them out ourselves in a way that’s honoring to God — loving our neighbor, avoiding gossip, encouraging each other, speaking the truth in love, honoring our parents, being honest, being humble, etc. — I know that that will have a much bigger impact on them then if we teach them what’s right and don’t live it out ourselves.

What is something that you do/have done to help teach your children how to treat others? What is one way that you model how to treat others for your children?

Song(s) of the Week: This week I chose “Firm Foundation (He Won’t)” by Cody Carnes because I really like it! Enjoy!